What's going on?

Alright my head is absolutely swimming right now due to a gnarly wine headache. So, please bear with me. A buddy of mine came over last night, and we decided the most manly thing we could do was to ripoff all of our clothes, watch soccer, and polish off a 1.75l of red wine in two hours. I know what you're thinking: what took you all so long to finish it?

6 weeks ago I was finally able to begin training again. I can't mess with kettlebells or anything overly dynamic (you know, like sickening kipping pull ups), but I am able to strength train. So, after writing and re-writing a number of rehab programs for myself I came across Dan John's 40 Day Program. Now, as written the workout is just brutal on your body. 2x5 every day just breaks you down. Fortunately I happen to peruse IGX and came across further explanation:

"could write a 600 page rant on that question. Here is the thing: percents don't work, excel spreadsheets don't work, planned lifting doesn't work. I know, I know, someone is going to post how they followed x or y for six months. I have tried them all. So, with the 40 day, you toss out load. I usually suggest you start out with like your third to last warm up on the Bench Press for 2 x 5. So, that might be 205 or 225 for a 405 bencher. And, that is easy!

You do that this week twice and next week you toss on some more weight the first time you do 2 x 5. It goes up just as light, just as easy. By definition, you are stronger. You do that with all the variations and movements, here is the note I sent one of my athletes:

Farmer Walk or Suitcase Walk (FW: Bell in each had; SW: Bell in one hand, then switch) Vary the distance EVERY time, and probably the load…if you can.

Two sets of Five: it should be easy and be like your second or third warm up lift in a typical workout. The idea, the “secret,” is to get THIS workout to feel easier and easier!

Five-Three-Two: Five reps with your 2 x 5 weight, add weight for three, then a solid double. Make the Double!!!
Six Singles: I don’t care how you do this, but add weight each set. No misses!
One set of ten: the day after six singles, very light load for ten easy “tonic” reps.
60 percent of the workouts are 2 sets of 5, one in ten is Six Singles (followed by 1 x 10) and 20 percent (2 of 10) are 5-3-2. 
I made it that simple, because people just can't get their damn heads around the idea that you can get really strong by doing the movements. Here is the thing: if you train the 40 day workout, five days a week, that is eight weeks. Now, MOST people have NEVER done a program for 8 weeks, so the success might simply be...
you do what you say you need to do. 
I have had dozens of emails where the person starts easy strength and a week later gets hurt doing some BS thing they read in a blog or decides to Olympic lift, Highland Game, Crossfit, and Zumba...
The reason it is so easy to win, in my opinion, in sports is simply focusing on the task and lifting to support it. I can't believe when I hear football teams are doing aerobic dance, long distance runs, swimming...you name it...
Have the courage to do something for eight weeks. If it is bullshit...and it might be!...then move on. Most trainees have never done the same thing for two workouts. It is something I learned from Dick Notmeyer: we snatched and clean and jerked three days a week and Jerked off the rack and front squatted two days a week for TWO straight YEARS. Then, he let me bench and squat and my numbers were off the charts. This is when I did my very first deadlift and I pulled 555 because the gym record was 550. I don't recommend this, but damn it, it works...

Does it seem so super simple that you won't even bother trying it? Well, let me first share with you my routine and then my progress.

Movements:

Deadlift
Bench
Pull up
KB Swings
Hanging leg raise

Week 1

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5
T: 2x5
F: 5-3-2

Week 2

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5
T: 5-3-2
F: 6x1

Week 3

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 5-3-2
T: 6x1
F: 1x10

Week 4

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5 
T: 2x5
F: 5-3-2

Week 5

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5
T: 5-3-2
F: 6x1

Week 6

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 5-3-2
T: 6x1
F: 1x10

Week 7

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5 
T: 2x5
F: 5-3-2

Week 8

M: 2x5
T: 2x5
W: 2x5
T: 5-3-2
F: 6x1

Got that? I'm currently on Wednesday of week 7. Has this worked for me? You bet your sweet candy asses it has. I've hit new PRs on all lifts (well, bench and deads) and I can rip off pull-ups like I could never do before. I'm able to pull 375lbs raw (remember I'm tall and lean!), am benching over 200lbs finally (no right pec, haven't tested PR), and can do 10 strict pull-ups without pause. Pre-injury I could do 4 on a good day. 

I haven't deadlifted ALL year and I was able to get 375lbs after 6 weeks. That's an accomplishment to me. I'm hoping to join the 405lb club by the end of next week. That may be pushing it, but I'm going to shoot for it. 

My elbow is holding up relatively well. There is minimal discomfort after I'm done. I've started working with the Thera-Band Flexbar, which I highly recommend. Here is a study backing up Thera-Band's claims. Oh, my elbow can also do the same. Eccentric exercise works! 

Making amends to my mending process

Exactly 2 weeks have past since my last rah rah post about the Rangers, so I guess I should be even more cheerleaderish in this post since they made the World Series. Alas, I shall not. I got a little cocky last year, and the Rangers ended up getting their poo pushed in by the buzzsaw known as the '10 San Francisco Giants. This year I'm going to keep my mouth shut and pretend like I'm just happy to be along for the ride. Unless, of course, they win and then I'm going to be more obnoxious than a front running Yankee fan. So, today I'm going to share a few new items I've picked up to help some of my injuries be less painful.

I'm going to reveal something embarrassing now. I have small wrists. I know, you thought I'd finally admit to having full blown HIV (or what we in the professional medical community call "AIDS"), but no. I'm sorry. Yes. I'm sad to report that my parents again failed me and left me with frail wrists. Somewhere along the lines of my youthful exuberance to have sick grip strength and be able to perform 360* ballistic pull ups I severely injured my wrists. I've talked about that. I failed to go through the proper progressions. Again, live and learn. Since then I've tried a myriad of shit wrist wraps and braces, all which have not worked. That ranges from McDavid to Nike to athletic tape to KT tape and more. All of those products are decent and have their applications, but it wasn't what I needed. Some of the power lifting wraps were great and all, but super bulky and not conducive to what I'm doing.

So what did I do, much later than I should have done? Bought these:

Garage Ink wrist wraps. The support these things give is unreal. On top of that, they don't cut my circulation off even when I tighten them fully. That right there was a major downfall of the Nike and McDavid wraps. Well, that and the support is only good for frail old ladies picking through apples at the grocery store.

I digress, the wraps are well made and I'm actually able to do press movements again. I was even able to carry 90lbs of kettlebells (50lb and 40lb KBs, my gym hates the metric system) in my hand with zero discomfort. I decided to give them a full test yesterday and did a lot of bench pressing and DB pressing. Simply fantastic.

Just how small are my wrists? Well, those wraps are the smallest ones at 12". There is a larger size. Check them out over at Garage Ink Powerlifting. I actually bought them from christiansfitnessfactory.com, but whatever. Side note about CFF.com: good customer service and I received those wraps in 3 days. Not bad. If you go over to the site try not to get too nauseated by the Crossfit (tm) (c) stuff. The kool aid is strong, so be stronger than it.

What else did I get to assist my injuries? Well, this purchase was moreso to prevent injuries. As I said in an earlier post I transitioned too quickly to the minimalist shoes and my knees and feet were a tad sore. So, I scaled back and bought shoes that still provide me what I want in a trainer, but give a tad more cushioning.

It's a pair of custom Nikes using their NikeID "system" on their website. I mixed the Nike Free Run +2 cage with the Nike Free 3.0 sole. My thoughts on them so far? If you have a dog that sheds a lot then be forewarned as these are fur magnets. Even the soles. My dog also doesn't seem to like them very much. Perhaps that is because they were made in Vietnam and there could be some dog parts used in them. How about that for a complete and utter butchering of a stereotype? Don't judge me.

"How do the shoes fit? How do they feel? Are you FREE?!"

Good question, self. They fit fantastic and I can't wait to train in them tomorrow. If you're looking at purchasing a Free model, whichever one it may be, just know that the toe box runs very small so you absolutely must go up a size. For instance, I'm a 12 and I had to get a 12.5.

Oh, and yes the tongues on the shoes really do read "CHAMP IS HERE". That's my small dedication to the Mavs. Sure I may suffer from a slight bout of megalomania, but I promise I'm not referring to myself.

So, given the progress I'm making I should finally be able to get back to actually training and writing about the same. I'm a bit tired of these filler blog posts, although they do seem to be a hot topic amongst all the fly ladies around the vending machine at work.

Stay hard.

p.s. Mavs 2011 Champs

The Rangers win! The Rangers win!

Sorry. If it's not obvious I just finished watching game 4 of the ALDS. My (yes, MY) Texas Rangers just beat the Rays 3-1 in the uncomfortable 5 game ALDS. Now it's off to face either the Tigers or the Yankees. At least that won't be a 5 game series, unless one team loses in 5. My prediction? As long as the Yankees lose at some point, I don't care who wins. Kidding. But seriously I love it when the Yankees lose. Kind of how the nation loves it when the Cowboys lose. Of course, those people are inbred and beat their children. I read that on wikipedia.

So the last three weeks I've done zero upper body outside of core work. I should have completely cut off all stress in that area MONTHS ago, but I'm stubborn and had the "bug". I just couldn't stop training, lest I go insane and find other, less healthy outlets for my over abundance of energy. You know, like impaling virgin puppies on unsuspecting unicorns' horns. Don't judge me. You know you've come close to doing the same. We're all human here.

I'm happy to report that my elbow and wrist have made significant improvements. Both areas are still tender, but I'm actually able to exert force and pressure with minimal discomfort. That's huge. At least for me. So, hopefully I'll be ready to get back at it sometime in the next several weeks. This blog will update at a significantly higher rate at that time.

Until then, I shall continue reading this historic cluster F of a thread on Irongarm. Now, that thread is old news to many, but new to me. Yeah, it's really 1111 pages. It's as if you're watching the evolution (or devolution if you prefer) of the world of strength and conditioning. There is literally no way to give you a summation of said thread. It's basically just one huge Crossfit bash session with some incredibly intelligent, and not so intelligent, people. There are also quite a few big names from around the industry posting in there, which I always find fascinating. For those of you not familiar with Irongarm, it's a spin off site from the Dragon Door forums. A group of many were tired of censorship, John Du Cane or whatever else, and created that site. I think it's happened about eleventy times across the internet. If you must know, I've literally read every word through page 74. Again, don't judge me. I've actually learned some things, but I'm pretty sure whatever I learned is going to be buried way below all of the inane stuff I also read.

BTW, my girlfriend won't even subscribe to my blog. How sorry is that? I mean she can't read and always drools on my keyboard due to not having a properly tensioned jaw or a full set of teeth, but it's the thought that counts. You know, perception is everything and all that.

The great Dr. Yessis on the state of plyometrics today

I'll admit I am guilty of over broadening the definition of plyometrics. I actually committed said sin in the previous blog post about box jumps, and a reader kindly asked about my word usage (I believe I tagged the post with "plyo jumps"). I didn't fully understand the meaning of his question, but now I do.  I'd go back and edit my blog entry and shore up the language, but word has it that is immediate grounds for blacklisting in the competitive world of blogging. We bloggers are effing hardcore.

I must admit I'm a bit ashamed for being guilty of this, as I have often scoffed at "p90x athletes" and fitness class whores for talking about the sweet plyos they do. Such is life.

Watch the video, and listen to the man. Dr. Michael Yessis is a legend and knows what he is talking about.

Musclin' Up with Mango

Oh the videos we come across when searching for something else. I happened to find this fantastic instructional piece when searching for vids on the reproductive cycles of unicorns. Everyone meet Mango. He's going to teach you how to do a muscle up.

Okay back to my important research.

Working on my hops

I used to be able to jump. Not so much now. Well, I used to be able to do a lot of things that I can't do now, but that doesn't keep me from trying to get back to that point or close. I've really worked on improving my maximal strength and accelerative strength in my lower body. It's slow going, but I'm getting closer to where I want to be.

Last week I was finally able to consistently hit 45" on the box jump. I know that isn't high compared to others you've most likely seen, but again this is only a step towards my end goal. I've seen some pretty funny rigged box jump setups on youtube. Here is mine:

No that mat behind the box isn't to stop me from falling. It's to help cushion my knees jumping down since I'm training in minimalist shoes. My knees are currently taking the brunt of the stress during this transition. Here's the vid of me completing the jump. I suggest turning your speakers way down since my buddy decides to go all raging hormonal cheerleader on me:

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO JUMPING YAY!!!! I'm going to shoot for 50" next week, but I'm going to have to setup shop outside or somewhere with higher ceilings. Yesterday I was able to complete the same exercise, but with a 45" plate underneath the mat. Sound precarious? It is, but I just have to remain focused and everything is fine. If my mind isn't right then I step away from the box and reset. I figure that's way better than falling and hurting myself.

Some new toys, and knee discomfort is uncomfortable

Well, one of my favorite sites for really expensive workout equipment FINALLY got their resistance bands back in stock. That would be EliteFTS. Sure there are plenty of other bands out there that are fantastic, but I like to support certain companies and this is one of them. So I immediately ordered a couple "average" bands. They naturally went on sale for 25% off the next day, but I'm so incredibly wealthy that I scoff at such handouts. I don't want your charity! I mean, you can tell my over abundance of wealth just by the mere fact that I have a Blogger blog and not my own domain. Tremble before my wallet which may or may not be falling apart. All jokes aside (which will undoubtedly be taken seriously by someone, here is the average band compared to the light:

That's a hefty band. Here is their band calibration chart just in case anyone is interested:

I'll be using these for sprints, rows, presses, core work, isometrics, and stretching. They're such a fantastic tool. If I had a large reader base I'm sure I'd receive comments like "BRO WHY R U NOT USING THE BANDS FOR BENCHING AND SQUATTING? THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE MADE 4 BRO. STAY 2TRU." Well, fictional reader powerlifter guy (sorry PLs I know all of you aren't uneducated neanderthals), I literally have no way to use these at my gym for either movement as my gym's bench press benches do not have pegs nor do the power racks. Oh wait, my gym doesn't even have a power rack. I used to leave that as a suggestion in the suggestion box daily. My words have so far gone unheeded. I should be used to that by now.

I did discover another goal: I'm not even strong enough to do a one arm OH press with the average band, so I'll certainly be working on that.

Mix up your training people. Break up the monotony that some of our daily routines unfortunately inflict. In a later blog I'll show you how and where I use these tools. I'll even provide photographic evidence. Does that make your pants excited?

I almost forgot about my knees. For the first time, that I can remember at least, my knees are sore and making me slightly tentative. I have been putting them through hell the last several weeks due to my training for mastering the pistol squat, but I feel that has been doing nothing but strengthening them. Well, on Tuesday I did some heavy plyometric exercises. The one that pushed me over the edge was the plyo box jump, jump down, and immediately explode into a long jump. I've been able to go deep on squats (ass to floor, or hammy to calf. whichever) for quite awhile now, but nothing has stressed my knees like the aforementioned plyo exercise. Wow. Next time I'm going to use a mat.  When I jump off the plyo box I went deep on my landing, and same goes for the landing after the long jump. My knees are literally up at my chest.

So, live and learn. Plyometrics are no joke and I know that. I should have cushioned my landing with a mat while doing this exercise. My knees are just a tad sore and that's it. It'll go away, but let this be a reminder to not immediately go into hero mode before you're ready!

If any of you are wondering when I became such a proponent of full squats, and I know ALL of you are, it was after watching a training session with Dirk Nowitzki and the great Holger Geschwindner. Dirk has an amazing ability to recover from knee injuries quickly, and that is largely attributed to his training with the German mad scientist. Holger has Dirk do court long ass to floor long jumps. It looks awfully silly when a 7 footer is doing it, but that workout has conditioned his knees to perform and remain stable through the full range of motion. That's necessary in basketball, and most pro sports, as awkward falls are the norm. I fully realize that doing that is not ideal for everyone, and it's certainly something that no beginner should ever attempt. You have to work yourself up to the point where you do have that flexibility and strength in the knees to get that low. Otherwise you could be facing massive injury, because knee injuries are nothing to joke about unlike most every single Presidential nominee for the next term.

Stay hard, Dallas.

How bad do you want it?

That is Giavanni Ruffin out of East Carolina. I admit I only knew that because it says so on Vimeo. That shouldn't take anything away from the message though. How bad do you want it? I think it's a question we all should ask ourselves on a daily basis. I also believe it's a question, that when asked, many of us subconsciously lie in our response or don't truly comprehend the sacrifices we must make in order to obtain it, whatever it may be. It's less about making a change in your life, and more about changing your life. That's perhaps a bit extreme in some instances, but the video isn't about those.

It's not uncommon to hear people on Facebook, any given internet forum, workplace, and pretty much anywhere talk about how they wish they were skinny, how they wish they were in shape (there is a difference), how they wish they could do [insert hobby/activity], or how they wish they had a certain job. Well, wishing never got anyone anywhere. My family is incredibly God fearing and spiritual. Your opinions on religion aside, my father always used to tell me that while we need to pray for that which we want, we must always strive to achieve those goals ourselves. We can't just sit by and let life happen all while hoping something miraculous will occur. You must invest time into your goals. You must invest a lot of energy and emotion. Success, in any shape or form, must be worked for and earned.  The journey is not easy, and more often then not it flat out sucks.

So many of us are prone to issuing strong declarative statements of our goals without first making the real promise to ourselves that we will do whatever it takes to achieve them. Let me re-emphasize the "do whatever it takes" part. That's fairly broad and all encompassing right? Whatever it takes. Let that sink in.

We live in a society that is over saturated with the now. I'll spare you the detailed examples, but you've read magazines covers promising six pack abs in a month. You've seen the ridiculous claims supplement companies dish out. You've seen the over saturation of pyramid schemes in America who promise their clients, I mean employees, the world. You've no doubt seen lottery commercials or have played the lottery yourself. How many people have experienced success in any of the aforementioned? I imagine very few compared to the number who have tried and failed. Whatever happened to reaping the fruits of our labor? Is there anything truly self fulfilling by not giving something our all and trying to cheat the "system", for lack of a better term? Well, maybe to some of you. That is sad, but a different topic.

Be real with yourself. Look in a mirror and ask yourself "How bad do I want it?" Are you willing to make the lifestyle change in order to achieve your goals? Do not lie to yourself. There's literally no point. People often ask me for help. Why? I don't know. I don't know everything, but I was blessed with an over abundance of common sense and an ability to problem solve. In other words I was clearly born a man. Kidding, ladies. I often ask people I help, after being informed that they have made little progress, "Which part of the "lifestyle change" wasn't clear to you?" after they tell me they don't want to give up a particular food or way of life that is detrimental towards their supposed goals (partying). I then generally ask the person to adjust their goals since their current ones will not be achieved with that mindset and/or lifestyle. That's simply reality. In response I'll receive a smile or a nod of the head, and it's clear they're not accepting my words. They'll show me they can do it and prove me wrong. After all, I'm not a certified trainer or "lifestyle coach" so I don't know what I'm talking about. Then 6 or 7 months down the road they look exactly the same and are wondering why "everyone else but me is getting results." While the "everyone but me" line of thinking is inherently untrue, it is still a dangerous mindset. That's when people tend to give up and let despair overwhelm them. Regardless, you will not achieve your goals only putting in half the effort. It's all or nothing. If you want something then you must do whatever it takes, and that usually means making sacrifices which are more often than not outside of our comfort zone. I ask again, when have we ever grown while being comfortable?

Make the tough decision. Push yourself beyond what you think you're mentally capable of. Work long and hard to get the job you want. Make sacrifices and change your life for the better. The journey can suck and be overly miserable, but the reward at the end more than makes up for it. Hell, somewhere along the line it may even become fun. You never know until you actually do it and quit making excuses. You're in control of your own life. Why settle for mediocrity?

Saturday workout fun with the lady, and that guy just left...with NUTS!

Well, I'm officially beat. My sweet, dear ex-wife of a girlfriend (confused?) and I went out to get in a hard 30 minute workout earlier. Unfortunately my super hippie organic coffee did little to get my brain up to par with the rest of my body. I couldn't think of a fun workout that would challenge both of us, and that we could get done quickly. Then I turned and saw my best and most hated fitness friend: the deck of playing cards. Boom. Problem solved. Oh boy...

If you're lacking creativity then a deck of cards is your savior. You can assign certain exercises to each suit, and then decide the reps, intensity level, or whatever depending on the face value (FV) or color of the card.

Here is Ray Lewis speaking on his deck of cards workout. His is fairly simple. The options are endless.

Now you see why I love them and hate them. The deck of cards workout is a physical and mental battle.

Once you've figured out which cards go with whatever exercises go ahead and shuffle the deck. Once shuffled, pull the first card. Perform the exercise. Then pull the next. I like to time myself to see how long it takes to go through all 54. This will keep you from over extending your rest periods, and hopefully help push you to do better each time. Naturally that only works if you're doing the same exercises for the same cards.

Here are the exercises I assigned to each card. Face cards (king, queen, jack, ace) are all worth 10:

• Club - jump rope - Face value (FV) x 10 skips (if you pull a 4 of clubs you do 40 skips)
• Spade - plyo/bench jumps
• Diamond - glute/ham raise  
• Hearts - sit-ups

So, we made a promise to each other to make it all the way through the deck. We would draw a card, and then both of us would do the exercise. We had to stop with about 10 cards left. It took us around 40 minutes to get through that much, as our conditioning could use some work and it was already 100*+ outside. Regardless, our butts were kicked. Oh and it's very annoying to consistently draw the same suit. Talk about giving you a major burn. 

An hour or so later we headed over to Whole Foods to spend thousands of dollars on exotic beasts and produce. Well, maybe not that much. I'm just whining about how pricey it is buying organic. Don't judge me. While there we got hit up by one of the local vendor's free sample stand. It turned out to be Nate's Raw Harvest They sell pre-soaked organic nuts, which are supposed to be free of phytic acid, lectins, and other anti-nutrients. 

For those that don't know, phytic acid is a mineral blocker that affects your absorption of calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, and zinc. Lectins affect your gut lining and can cause gastro-intestinal distress on top of other things. Feel free to google your face off on that one. Peanuts used to be a huge part of my diet, but now due to the anti-nutrients I've removed them completely. I needed a replacement crunchy and salty snack badly! 

I ended up going with the pumpkin seeds. They tasted fantastic and I figured they'd go great with all of the organic spinach I just snagged.

I love supporting a local company. Although, these nuts are $12.99 at Whole Foods. They are $10.99 on the website. Go check them out!

You stay hard.

The doctor has spoken. I've been tendinopafied

Well, after a good month of only doing minimal upper body work my elbow is still giving me hell. So, I headed off to the ortho yesterday just to make sure I didn't have a torn ligament or misplaced vagina. Thankfully I don't suffer from either ailment.

What I do suffer from is what I suspected: tendinitis, or tendinopathy. Whichever floats your boat. He better explained to me that I'm constantly exacerbating the injury by allowing my wrist to bend every which way. He asked if I'm in the most pain first thing in the morning, and of course I answered yes. He explained that throughout the night we have a tendency to sleep in funky positions (I hang upside down from the rafters...don't judge my condo) and the wrist often times gets bent forward or backward for extended periods of time. This places incredible amounts of stress on the affected area. How do I rectumify that? Well he suggested I go out and buy a wrist brace and wear it while sleeping.

Unfortunately last night I was not able to make over to a sporty sports store to grab one, so each time I woke up (I tinkle a lot throughout the night) I tried to pay extra careful attention to my wrist placement. I noticed that I often times woke up with the wrist cocked, and even though I was consciously thinking about my wrist placement I'd still use that hand to push myself out of bed while I stood up. Whoops. That's a problem. So, tonight I'm going to grab a brace.

He also gave me a few exercises to perform. I'm sure you all remember this beautiful tear jerking blog I wrote earlier about eccentric exercise. Well, apparently the one I've been doing (which is mentioned therein) is not ideal for this injury. He said I was on the right track, but I'm only stressing the affected area once the forearm creates a 90* angle with the upper arm, and lower.

The correct exercises, he said, would be one where you lay your forearm across a surface and over the edge (like a bench or preacher curl stand) while holding a DB/KB/anything with weight. While holding the weight in a pronated position, slowly supinate the wrist. Your wrist and palm should be facing upward in the supinated position. Then return your wrist to the pronated position. Repeat.

The other exercise is conducted on a similar surface in a similar position; however, your wrist and hand will remain pronated. While holding the weight, bend your hand upward until it forms a 90* angle with your wrist. Then lower it all the way down, and repeat.

Also, any time I pick up an object on the left side of my body to make sure I lift said object close to my body. That keeps the elbow from flaring and further stress from being applied on the inflamed area.

He said 3 weeks of this should get me back to normal. This is after nearly a half year of hell. We'll see how it works, and I'll most definitely keep you updated.

I'm getting trendier by the day

Well, better late than never I guess. I've finally joined the ranks of the shoe minimalists and purchased a pair of Merrell Trail Gloves. In case you were wondering what my pair looked like, and you are incapable of using Google, then here is a picture:

MIND BLOWING!!!

Over the last many years I've been torturing myself and atrophying my feet/calf muscles with horrid running shoes that would normally have around a 9mm slope from heel to toe. My last pair being the awful Nike Sparq Trainers with the equally awful shock technology. They were great for standing around in and all the fly honeys came flockin', but they simply weren't functional, per se, when it came to actual training. By now I'm sure you've already been beaten down with information "provided" to you by barefoot running proponents (see how I was nice about that and didn't take the easy way out by calling them nazis?) so I won't touch on that fully.

Instead let me just say that, contrary to popular internet belief, these shoes are not for everyone. GASP. Not everyone can make this transition. That could be in part due to a person's genetic makeup, or the fact that you actually need to condition your feet and ankles to take on the added stress which shoes-of-today unfortunately eliminate.Whoa heyooo so stress is good? Absolutely. How else are you going to strengthen that area? 1,000,000 calf raises? No thanks. It's unfortunate that many minimalist/barefoot running proponents are so cemented in with their beliefs that they don't leave room for any excuses for someone explaining why minimalist shoes do not work for them.

"BUT THE TARAHUMARA TRIBE HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR CENTURIES!!!! IT'S SO PALEO, NOT-BRO!"

Well, fictional shouting person whom I created and am now addressing, I would imagine that most Americans haven't been barefoot running for centuries. I know, I'm out on a precarious limb. I'll let the logical side of your brains take over and figure out what I mean by that. Technology, in most instances, serves to better our lives. How do we know that many of the Tarahumara tribe didn't and don't suffer from foot ailments which could have been corrected with appropriate footwear?

HMMM?

"Write about your goals you idiot"

That was the subject line on an email I received yesterday in my inbox. At first I was all excited that someone had actually read this blog, but then I realized I sent that email to myself earlier in the morning as a reminder. I responded with some hate filled message, which I then read this morning when I got back to work. It made me curl into the fetal position, rock back and forth, and hum Puff the Magic Dragon for an hour or more.

So, with that said, let me go over a few of my short term goals. I've been working hard to achieve most of them, but some have been put on hold due to injury.

• Muscle up - Unfortunately the only pulls I can work on are the towel rows. So, this is somewhat on hold. Due to my wrist pressing has been put on the back burner.
• One arm push-up - I'm nowhere close to being able to accomplish this. Large pectorals was not something I was blessed with, but it is definitely something I will overcome. Did I mention I'm missing a large chunk of my right pec? You read that right. I was born without it. If I was in the Olympics I'm sure NBC would find a way to make a tear jerker story out of my "disability".
• Dragon flag - I can do 3/4 of one now! I can start in the up position and go down 3/4 of the way and back up. I'm proud of myself for this since I'm pretty tall and lanky.
• Pistol squat - I've had a lot of time to work on this over the last month. I'm getting better at it. Thanks, Convict Conditioning.
• Handstand push-up - Since these are short term goals I'm really just shooting for the 'assisted' handstand push-up. In other words, my feet will still be sliding up and down the wall for balance. From there I'll change my goal to "unassisted handstand push-up". 
• 35" vert - I've always been a good leaper, but that ability goes away if you're not specifically training for it. Back during my high school/college basketball days I was at 37". Maybe I can surpass that. Maybe not. Only way to find out is to work at it! 

I'll try to work on getting more video and pictures up. I've been working out every single day and I'm just aching to get back out there with Elite Kettlebell Club. Soon enough.

It costs so much more to be unhealthy

Getrichslowly.org recently wrote this fairly obvious yet still alarming article on the price of obesity. Scary.

More than 60% of Americans are at an unhealthy weight, with 33.4% classified as obese. If we continue at this rate, by 2030 half of the population will be obese. 

That's it? Go ahead and read the full article. It's worth the 5 minutes. Well, I guess that's subjective.

It's unfortunate our beloved fitness industry is so hell bent on the mighty dollar that they do little to assist this sad epidemic. Let me just get this rant out of the way now. I know, it's a bit tired and covered repeatedly across the blogosphere. I'll keep it short.

Here they are selling fat burners and appetite suppressants, neither being all that healthy, to men and women who simply lack the knowledge and instruction to get their lives back. Instead of teaching what has been tried and true for centuries, they teach what gets them the most attention and money. McTrainers direct their clients towards the unnecessary machines and (seemingly) couldn't care less about the overall well being of their clients. Women naturally gravitate towards the non-specific and "not goal oriented" cardio classes which do little to build actual muscle. You know, muscle being the necessary component for fat loss (well, diet being most important). I wonder how one acquires muscle? Ladies, you will not look like this if you train like this:

"But I could never do that!"

How do you know? Have you ever truly put forth the effort to find out? I'm able to do things now I never thought possible. I'm excited to see just what I'm capable of. Shouldn't you be too?

Gyms don't sell memberships because of their sweet free weight area, they sell memberships based on how new the machines are, their spa, and how much cardio equipment they have. The more flat screens and built-in fans the better. After all we want to be comfortable while becoming a new person right? I mean we certainly don't want to become uncomfortable and face the real possibility of turning into a stronger person mentally. We learn nothing about ourselves when we are comfortable.

Silly diet programs have men and women obsessing about the number of calories they ingest each day. So how do they help? They create a point system and a line of small portion meals which is comprised of processed garbage. Whether it's the programs' intentions or not, fewer calories than recommended are seemingly always consumed. Too few calories leads to the eventual slowing of your metabolism. Your body holds onto that little energy for dear life. So, due to the processed foods and caloric deficit both men and women often times see little progress and even weight gain. Despair then sets in, and it's far easier to quit then to assess the problem and find a solution. After all, these programs don't teach mental strength. Here's a tip: stop counting calories and throw away your scale. Seriously. Never use that thing again. That causes more harm than good. I'll go into detail at a later date on both subjects. In the meantime go read sites like Mark's Daily Apple and get a better grasp on your nutrition.

I know I should be happy that people are at least attempting to get into shape, but it's hard for me when the root problem is known. That's just me, though. Fortunately there has been a recent strong movement consisting of trainers and coaches, athletes, gym owners, and every day people who are beginning to correct the bad information and get us all on the right track. To those I give daps, and those are just a few examples (all of which are on my bookmarks bar - there are many more). The internet does do good things for this world shockingly enough. It helped me find these people and that information. It was up to me to to apply it.

Forreal.

"Six Secrets to Success" by Arnold

This is an amazingly simple and straightforward speech. We've all heard it before, yet those simple points he brings up are the "simple" things we tend to gloss over due to the over-complication of our lives. It's good to hear them, especially from a man who followed those rules. Sure his personal life is slightly wheels off, but all in all I'd say he was a success. The greatest bodybuilder of all time, famous actor, entrepreneur, and Gov'nuh of California. What have you accomplished? I believe there is greatness in all of us. It's up to you to discover it, but said greatness will never be uncovered if we don't overcome our fears and address issues which are seemingly better left untouched.

"Let me show you how great I am" - Cassius Clay

Huge thanks to RT for the vid.

Also, I went to the Europa Fitness Expo yesterday. Pics and rundown to come shortly.

Ye Ole Macebell

Look at that picture for awhile. Doesn't he blow your mind? I bet he killed that cat with his macebell. Oh, "he" is the Great Gama. Or was. I'll spare you his story since I was just going to copy and paste from Wikipedia, and then further embellish with stories of wars against unicorns and bros. He was a man's man that's for sure. 

I first became aware of the macebell/gada when reading Rosstraining.com. I'm a big fan of DIY workout equipment and his site has been a tremendous resource. In one of his DIY articles he had a link to the instructions for a homemade macebell. It took me a little bit (as in, a couple months) to fully understand the greatness of Steve Maxwell. I would love to train with that guy sometime.

The macebell is an incredible tool. It's great for circular strength (for your shoulders) and your grip. On top of that you can almost work every muscle group with it. You can perform circuits of overhead presses, rows, floor presses, pull overs, offset overhead squats, and all of the other traditional and not-traditional macebell exercises. This will really test your grip and forearm strength. This little thing called "leverage" is everything with the macebell. You can increase or decrease the difficulty of a movement by changing the position of your hands. You can hop on youtube and watch one of the many vids. 

I was intrigued, and decided to use my superior rush-into-action-prior-to-thinking-things-through skills and make one. In north Dallas there is an Academy and Home Depot in the same parking lot. What a great combination. 

Supplies:

1 broomstick pole (i found a 60", ended up sawing about 12" off of it)

1 10lb bucket of Quikrete
1 small ball of sorts (I found a basketball on clearance at Academy for $2.99)
A couple nails

First task was to shorten the broomstick some and drive some nails into the end. Theory being they will help keep the concrete ball on the end of your smooth stick. Then you cut a hole in the ball like so:

Next you add water into the bucket of Quikrete and stir. Once the desired consistency is reached you start shovelling it into the ball. I strongly suggest you make sure you compact the concrete once filled. If that ball isn't truly filled and there are "air spots" the concrete will have cracks and more than likely less structurally sound. I'm not a gymnast, Maury, so I don't know for sure. 

Once the ball is filled entirely (the whole mixture should fit) stick your, uh, stick in it. 

I had to let it sit overnight for it to dry completely. I think it had something to do with the weather, because I made a second one and it was good to go after 5 or 6 hours.

The result of the above instructions is on the right. The one on the left was my Father's Day gift to myself. It's around 20lbs and uses a thicker shovel handle. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to play with it much since a) I'm really not ready for it and b) I've been hurt.

After spending the last few hours typing this out (Cowboys are on, I'm distracted) I came to the realization that I didn't first become intrigued with the macebell on Rosstraining. It was on Mark's Daily Apple. My above prose is beyond fantastic, and what I said about RT.com is true so I decided not to spend another few seconds deleting and re-typing. So I spent a few seconds typing all of this out. Whatever.

Enjoy the macebell if you decide to make one. I strongly suggest you do make one as it'll revolutionize your world and make you feel like a barbarian. Or a large Hindu wrestler.

I need to be better about updating my workouts on this sucker. Well, I need to be better about updating it period (not THAT period). It's just that each day I get home my brain instantly melts due to the lack of worthwhile a/c and 17 strange children running around. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY BELONG TO! It's like a flash mob daycare.

This week is dedicated to my core and legs. Last week should have been, but I did more overall resting than anything. Here is what I knocked out yesterday while farting around in my gym. Oh, and yes I am anti-gym AND have a gym membership. Double standards abound. Deal with it.

* Dynamic warm up
* Decline (incline?!) sit-ups - 3 x 25
- superset with 100 skips of jump rope (30 sec rest between SSs)
* Hanging leg raises - 4 x 5
* Bridges - 10 x 5 reps (each rep consists of 10 second holds)
* Ab rollouts using swiss ball - 4 x 10 (pause 3 seconds while fully extended)
- superset with lying leg raise - 4 x 10
* Plank kick-thrus - 4 x 10 (I have no idea what the real name is for this. Hold a plank, kick one leg under and through to the other side. Repeat w/ other side)
* Two band assisted GHRs - 4 x 12 (two light-med bands for higher rep ranges..30 sec rest b/w sets)

Not an overly difficult workout. I'm going to go heavy on the core today to work more maximal strength and hit the legs. The latter will probably consist of hindu squats, bulgarian split squats, unassisted GHRs, plyo jumps, long jumps, and perhaps BB squats. We'll see!

I really can't wait to get back out with Elite Kettlebell Club and train there. Lord knows I'm aching to be out in this 105*+ weather crushing my body and soul.

Speaking of crushing souls, another social networking site is upon us. Go check out Fitocracy, social networking for fit people. For some reason this hasn't gotten as much pub as Google +. I just don't get it. That  was sarcasm. It's a pretty fun site, and I'll probably be good about updating my page for a week or two. You can earn points, complete challenges, etc. for workouts and exercises completed. Most of the challenges are pretty elementary, and all strength challenges are cleared geared towards the bodybuilding bro. I spent a good 20 minutes adding exercise suggestions to their database. Sure they have an entry for machine tricep pressdown, but tricep plank extensions?! Noooooo.

P, out.

Turning my condo into a sick gym, or turning my gym into a terrible condo

I like pull ups. A lot. They may be my favorite exercise, but I'm not the greatest at them. Unfortunately I didn't put enough time into researching how to actually progress on the bar properly so I wasted about a year on the assisted pull up machine. It was really awesome doing 4 sets of 10 reps and removing 10lbs of assistance every other week. That was then. Now? Well I'm better at them, and my knowledge on the subject is much greater. Unfortunately, once I started to progress for real I got hurt. Well I had been hurt but I worsened the condition.

This week of sitting around has allowed me to do a lot of reading. I came across an older article over on The Bodyweight Files (bro hugs for the idea, Justin). It's about towel pull-ups, and supination of the wrists while doing the pulls. Great idea; however, it's the hook in the ceiling that caught my man-eye. I love DIY home equipment. I have a number of great tools. A few not so great. I had to run to Home Depot (pay me for the plug...I'll take future credit) anyway so I decided to grab the hook. It was a whopping $1.18. I paid in pennies. In the self checkout line.

With the powers of a stud detector, common sense, and a drill combined, I was able to screw in this hook with my hands. Don't judge me for that ceiling popcorn. I'm going to bring that 60s classic back.

It took me awhile to decide where to screw in the hook. I was having a bit of trouble locating a stud because of the super cool kid popcorn (couldn't get a solid reading as the stud finder couldn't lay flat) when my brain finally turned on. There has to be a stud where the wall and ceiling meet in my stairwell. I confirmed same with a friend, and began drilling. This location works out perfectly as not only can I do pull ups, but I can use the steps to put my feet up on for rows.

Look at that intense concentration. Look at that coat rack. For the record, that Columbia jacket is one of the best investments I've made. It's not obnoxiously large and has kept me warm in 15-20* weather. Yeah it has gotten that cold in pretentious uptown. The humanity.

ROWS! Sick. I can also turn the other direction on pull ups and do L sit pull ups. I can admittedly only knock off 4 in a row, but once I'm fully healed I'll work on it. I would also like to apologize for my lack of shirt. I'm not trying to be awesome at all, it's just that my a/c is out. It's 108* outside. I probably shouldn't even be wearing pants or briefs but that'd be a terrible gift for my daughter on her birthday. I'm not Woody Allen, and my daughter isn't Asian.

The hook isn't that noticeable at all. As you can see it's right by my front door so it's not exactly in a high attention area.

Remember: we don't need a gym to workout! Be innovative and train when you have free time. It doesn't matter if that time allots to only 5 or 10 minutes. That's plenty of time to get in a circuit of any type.

Off to channel my inner Italian, make lasagna from scratch for my lil girl, get a terrible fade, and hide my insecurities through loud, obnoxious and intense behavior. Jokes.

Some Saturday afternoon motivation for your face

Okay I'll admit it: I'm sort of a sucker for motivational videos, stories, and speeches. I draw the line on that during the Olympics, though. Those producers are so good they'll take a story about a high jumper having a bout of chronic diarrhea and have housewives across the nation in tears. I guess that's just talent. Good for them.

I'll be posting up motivational videos as I come across them. Here are a couple that make me want to get out there and just dominate whatever it is I'm "getting out there" to do. That's most likely training.

I suggest watching that full screen. That's a training reel from the dudes at Movie-Do. I'm no martial artist, but I love this video because it's well done and these guys are good at what they do. Respect. Oh, and I'm ready to walk since I've made an egg stand.

TRAINING MONTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With the exception of that silliness this guy put together a great video. It's pretty inspirational, at least to me. I just get inspired to do so much stuff. Like..well, anyway this vid makes Rocky V seem like a fantastic movie. Why? Well it highlights the only good parts of it: the training and Rocky's surprisingly well written and delivered speech. At least for the movie, and Sylvester Stallone.

Somewhere along the line you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good; and when things got hard you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!

Now if you know what you're worth than go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers sayin' you ain't what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

Until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.

 He probably could have shortened that whole speech to "QUIT BEING A WHINY BITCH! LIFE IS TOUGH AND WILL KEEP HITTING UNTIL YOU HIT BACK!" I'm pretty motivational myself.

This video contains a bunch of clips (MOOONTTTAAAGGEEEE) with audio of Coach Flowers' "I am a Champion" speech. 

DEFEAT RETREAT! I don't understand those definitions!

I don't understand that either.  Anyway, that speech supposedly carried Leland High School to victory in the JV championship game. Which is kind of why I didn't post the original video. There is a bit lost with the imagination watching him read it in front of kids.

Annnnd I'm going to finish with this video here:


http://youtu.be/V6xLYt265ZM

I hate it when people disable embedding requests. I'm including that because it contains Cassius Clay's braggadocio from before the Rumble in the Jungle. That man is not lacking in confidence, and that is something that many today are truly lacking. Myself included.

I'm so bad I make medicine sick. Baaad dude.